“I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, “Hi.” They may ignore you, or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word.”
“Clementine: You’re not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I’m not a stalker. YOU’RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There’s a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one. “
“Clementine: Joely? What if you stay this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There’s no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a goodbye at least, let’s pretend we had one… Goodbye, Joel.”
Sam: What are you doing?
Andrew : Remember that idea I had, about working stuff out on my own, and then finding you once I worked stuff out?
Sam: The ellipsis?
Andrew: Yeah, the ellipsis, it’s dumb. It’s dumb. It’s an awful idea. I’m not gonna do it, okay? Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I’m in love with you… I think that’s the only thing I’ve ever really been sure of in my entire life. And I’m really messed up right now, and I got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don’t want to waste any more of my life without you in it. And I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I have to, right?
Sam: Yeah. Yes!
Andrew : So what do we do? What do we do?
The essay “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young” - Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune, 1997
“Is that an F as in Frank?”-microsoft tech guy
“No, it’s an S as in SHIT I LOST MY WHOLE DOCUMENT!”-dianne
“I make just enough money to have no money”
“ISILDUR CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!…. ISILDURRRRR!!!!”
“What kind of asian is caucasian?”
“They have to have team dinner with team wife or else there will be no team sex”
“If I go to med school at western, I’ll become a herpes specialist!”
“Honestly, who steals facewash?”
“If I were facewash, where would I be?”
“I’VE HAD IT UP TO MY TOES WITH YOU!”
“I’m so photogenic, but only the back of my head =(“
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”